Holidays are always a good time to slow down and be intentional in your relationship. Check out these tips to keep in mind when loving your partner this Christmas season:
C- Create a safe environment. The holidays can be stressful and full of all kinds of emotions. Your partner needs you to be attentive and create an environment that feels safe to open up and share. Be a good listening ear. Comfort them. Also, be sure to use your fighting fair rules when conflict comes up.
H- Help each other out. With all the busyness in this season, it would be great to show an act of kindness to your partner by helping them out. Do something without them asking that you know would surprise them. Go above and beyond the normal duties they expect you to do.
R- Remember you are a spouse even when your partner is not around. No matter where you are or who you are with, you are in a committed relationship. So all your interactions must reflect that.
Be careful of flirting with others, social media interactions that cross the line, and the slippery slope of bringing “just friends”. If you wouldn’t do it or write it with your spouse right there- don’t do it at all. Respect the commitment you have made and show your partner they are the only one for you!
I- Intimacy. ‘Tis the season for romance! Physical and emotional intimacy are important parts of a relationship. Make time to be with your partner in the ways they need you to. Whether it is affection, deep talks, compliments, sex, cuddling, etc, all can help bring you closer to each other and meet important emotional needs.
S- Spend time with each other. Some books say a relationship should have 20 hours a week of quality time together. That is a part-time job! Make sure you slow down life to invest time in your relationship. Do things both of you would like.
Have fun and stretch yourself out of your comfort zone. Make sure you spend time talking about life during your time together. Take your conversations deeper and you will notice a big difference in how connected you feel.
T- Talk nicely. A kind word goes a long way. Watch your tone to make sure it doesn’t mess up what you are trying to have your partner hear. Take the old saying to heart: “If you can’t say nothing nice, don’t say it at all”. Try to begin with the end in mind. Think about what you want your partner to hear and start there. The nicer you are, the better chance it will be received well.
M- Make Jesus the reason for the season. It isn’t about the perfect gift, and making all the parties…the season is about celebrating Jesus! Don’t lose focus on your faith during this time. Use this as a time to thank God for all the blessings He has given your relationship.
Slow down and pray with each other and for each other as your reflect on the true meaning of Christmas. Read the Christmas story in the Bible and talk about what it must have been like. Sharing faith experiences can draw you and your partner closer.
A- Admire each other. Is your partner JUST like you or do they have some special strengths? Do you ever step back to admire your partner’s strengths? Go the next step and compliment them for their efforts. It always feels good to be recognized and appreciated.
S- See where they have come from. Each one of us has a past that impacts us in positive and negative ways. Remember your partner's past and see where they come from. As you are around his or her family observes their family dynamics. It can tell you a lot when you step back and “study” where they have come from. You will also learn tips of dos and don’ts that your partner needs by knowing about their past.
Enjoy this special Christmas season and take time to recharge your relationship. It is the best gift you can give your partner!